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[ashworthless]

HI GUYS ♥
LYSS HERE with my fifth asshole, Baby Fox.

His real name is Ira Ashworth! Here's all the parts I'm gonna forget! He's a COPPERTALE JUNIOR, and he's the second Quidditch reserve for Coppertale. He's also in Gardening Club, but that is all, he sucks at extra-curricular activities

Classes:
CORE: Potions, Herbology, Hermeticism, Transfiguration, Charms
ELECTIVES: Magizoology, Aesthetic Magic, Pre-Healer Studies.

Ira is from Portland Maine, where his two moms and little brother Elias still live! His mom Ava teaches at Elias's school, and his mom Miriam collects cursed artifacts and studies them.

But ALWAYS LABEL YOUR CURSED ARTIFACTS or your 6 year old son will get into them and get cursed and be sick for months afterward. That is what happened to Elias. He is alive! He's better! But it was scary

That's when Ira decided he wanted to become a Healer, so that he could help people like Elias. He has wanted that and nerded out for that for years and years, but then he came to Gooseberry and got social and decided that maybe that is not what he wants to do? Only sometimes it is?

So now he's having a very premature quarter-life crises in which he has learned how to dodge rules and procrastinate while maintaining his 4.0. He's nauseatingly good at this

He's also good at arguing, and because he's adopted several ideals such as veganism forever and all kinds of human rights issues, he does a lot of that

He's not good at much else, which disappoints him. He's a solid Quidditch reserve but not like, spectacular, and he doesn't have a Signature Genius Talent like many Goosekids. It's a Problem.

After years of being VERY QUIET and VERY GROUCHY, Ira's opened up a little here. He's deeply unapologetic about that, just like every other aspect of his life. If you're his friend, expect him to argue for you til he's dead, even if he's dead wrong

If you ask him where he gets his protein he will make YOU into a sausage, but just with his words, because he's too chicken to get in Actual Trouble.

Comments

[quickbuck]

hello i love him and todd loves him and wants to start a debate team with him

[ashworthless]

Hello Ira loves todd and would start a debate team with him any day and thinks they should just do it anyway

[threatens]

hey I'm trying to write an ic/ooc on my phone while drunk

this team needs a reserve seeker. which one of you unlucky kids wants to fill in for Reid

[browbeats]

They're both useless, Reid has to be kept in a hamster ball at all times to keep him safe

[ashworthless]

I'M NOT SAYING IRA WOULD BE REID LEVEL AWESOME And would concede to Dinah so I am never seeking against my own Seeker but HE WOULD DO IT IF HE HAD TO, he has tried to be at least Partially Good at all the things.

[sylla]

Cursed artefacts you say 🤔🤔🤔

Literally this is all I have I shouldn't even bother plotting with Sylla she doesn't even really go here

[ashworthless]

His mom knows of her parents!!
I love Sylla :(

[bubblewrapped]

Lyss I love him and christ I am so sorry for how obnoxious and weird Nisha is going to be to him.

[ashworthless]

I LOVE NISHA.
Ira will be so very fond of her??

[bitterlysweet]

Spencer loves him.

Details later when I'm sober and not on a phone. I have thoughts.

[ashworthless]

I AM EXCITED FOR THESE THOUGHTS ♥

[browbeats]

HI LYSS I already pestered you about him and Austin wearing beanies and being douchey together and I'm pretty hype about that. Help him with gardening stuff, he's a plant murderer.

BUT ALSO THERE'S DINAH, YOUR OTHER RESERVE. GO! BENCH! WARMERS!!! She wants them to come up with a reserve dance and/or handshake and/or high-five and/or song.

God and I think I have other characters but I can't be bothered to keep track of them.

[ashworthless]

They should like have the same douchey beanie. Is that weird. I don't care. He will help him with as much gardening as he can.

Annnnd will be very fond of Dinah too and let her come up with a handshake or highfive and do this a little more than halfheartedly and it'll be cute

[magitechnically]

IF Ira was new this year, you can bet that Essie would be writing a million letters to Pippa about the super cute blonde vegan boy that is obviously perfect for her and asking him if he's ever gone surfing.

she probably thinks he is perfect for pippa ANYWAY but does not warrant letters

this is a dumb comment i am sorry essie thinks he's cute because he's a boy

[ashworthless]

OH nooooooooooo

I like to think that he really likes Pippa :( In fact I will decree it.
He likes Essie too because I decree that too :(

[lilwitchhazel]

Apologies in advance for the amount of Hazel that's about to be all up in your/Ira's business.................... (I'm murdering stuff in Destiny right now BUT AFTER I'm gonna.. say real stuff)

[ashworthless]

I LOVE HAZEL And Ira thinks she is pretty awesome too ok :(

[byebyebirdies]

casey and him might butt heads? maybe? idk? paige's going to be real annoying, though.

[ashworthless]

I DO FEEL LIKE THEY WOULD BUTT HEADS but would actually find they
agree on more than they thought they would if they just stopped headbutting but yyy head butting will happen probably.

But I also love Paige and please annoy him forever.

[heathclifflacey]

You already know I adore Ira. But just to reiterate: I ADORE IRA. ♥ Most of my kids won't matter to him, but...

Heathcliff is his cabinmate, his Copperteammate, and his fellow-gardening nerd! Hopefully Ira won't get too tired of his big dumb face. He thinks Ira is great, is really glad that he's opened up and started to have some FUN, and has only asked him about his protein once (and he was probably messing with him). He also thinks he's super smart. :o Just like everyone else in their cabin except hiiiiim. Would he be interested in running or working out together?

Apart from that, Cole is in the same year as Ira and easy to boss around if he wants to convince anyone how right he is about his various ideals (he goes vegan and promptly starves because he's not allowed to eat anything and can't be bothered to figure it out, whatevs), Lachlan is his TA for Hermeticism, and Casper will occasionally see him on the pitch. And heaven help us if they ever argue. Because. Yeah. Grace...is also around but probably not relevant.

YAY BABY FOX~

[ashworthless]

sdkjfhsdkj ♥ THANK YOU

He would love to run/work out together!! He is Surprisingly Strong and Fast! He really admires Heathcliff's Divination talent a lot and will look up to him in the garden i think :(

ANNND COLE...PLEASE DON'T STARVE
IRA WOULD FEEL
SO BAD

Omg yeah let's not let him and Casper destroy the world and he will also bug Lachlan a lot because that is the kind of student Ira is.

[nothalfplaid]

COPPERBUDDIES! HEALER PALS!

that's all I got the brainpower for atm.

[ashworthless]

HE WILL LIKE FERN A LOT I THINK ♥

[theniceboy]

So.

Olivia supports his veganism because meat is actually really bad for us, you guys. We as a society eat WAAAAY more meat than we were ever meant to and it's actually fucking us up.

BUT I also think Olivia and Ira should be bros, partially because she needs better friends, but also because it sounds plausible in my head. She promises not to mom him too bad. She's too busy stalking his friend Todd to make sure Todd doesn't get ghostnapped to mom Ira anyway.

Solo is in his year but like not aggressive or assertive in any way. So if you think they can be friends - they totally can and Solo will love and cherish him. If you don't then ... solo still loves and cherishes him, it just gets a little weird there because it's not reciprocated and solo doesn't notice that.

Quentin is just fucking here. He can argue with Ira all day and night but he also has some human rights opinions so they might not actually be on opposite sides of that totem pole? He also thinks it's smart that ira doesn't eat meat because the government manhandles our meat so much they might as well just fuck the meat and get it over with.

And that's all I got.

[ashworthless]

Thank you, Olivia. They could be friends!! He...would NOT take well to mom-ing because he already has several so...stay on the molly thing, please :(

I MAY HAVE TO SEE how he interacts with Solo. He would possibly try to stay away from people who don't want to be aggressive because he doesn't want to be an asshole for NO reason. (He often is anyway) And sometimes their approaches maaay just clash

And on the same level...he probablllyyy tries to not argue with Quentin but it doesn't sound like they would anyway! Yay!

[professionalcorpse]

who gives a shit about my children, i love him. (and i'm late to the paaaarty.)

bash ... definitely asked the protein question in freshman year. but it was out of genuine curiosity. whoops? but otherwise. he's bash. so.

and roxie is fond of all of the new quidditch babies. the littlest ones are ... a bit overwhelming. but the juniors are less of a whelm. and she's close with heathcliff, so she'd like him.

[ashworthless]

I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN. TWO.

It's okay, Bash. He rolled his eyes Very Pointedly and gave the Speech About Beans. I am sure Bash frankly mystifies Ira on a daily basis and he miiiight be quiet around him but he wouldn't be mean either.

AND he probably really really likes Roxie because really how could you not, but also because she is so chill and amazing :(

[cupquake]

yay :d ♥

i was waiting to respond to this aaaafter intro-ing madison -- they have pre-healer studies together. i think their personalities either weirdly mesh or absolutely clash?? we'll have to see ♥

other than that, phin's in the same house & of course ira interacts w wilde thanks to gardening club c: i kind of think they might get along...? wilde's kinda in the same boat re: being kind of mean the last few years but slightly better now, so they could relate to eachother along those lines. ♥ wilde would also understand ~the reserves experience~

[ashworthless]

I LOVE MADISON AND I WILL TELL YOU THAT SHORTLY IN THE CORRECT PLACE ♥

And that...is exactly what I think about them actually yes...depending on how they work in game!

BUT YES OTHERWISE! He will not know or probably bother Phin thaaat much but I think he'd like Wilde a lot FOR sure and they could def be kindoffriends who just garden mostly.
I will throw all of mine at Wilde and I don't care.

[thephilosopher]

<3

[ashworthless]

Friends Please.

[oh_girl]

hey hey hey!

so Isabelle and Ira probably have the most overlap. Both in Pre-Healer studies and have most of their classes in common! Well, all of them except Magizoology honestly. Issy is NOT usually very argumentative but she wouldn't mind that he is and she kind of likes when people are uber passionate and stand up for things. She's also been through all kinds of phases with veganism/vegetarianism so there's that.

Sam is also a jr, they share some classes but not much else.

Concordia is CHEERING FOR U and a fellow coppertale but she's younger sat time.

Avery obviously can talk Quid with him and she's friendly with everyone.

Annnnnd Oz is stuck in the reserve life too so they can like, sad together about that?

[badassbeaterbabe]

HI I'M SO LATE TO THIS i'm legit the worst

Let's see. REE IS ALSO FROM MAINE. What Up?

Gabi's gonna Gabi at him and thinks he's adorable.

Saira is vaguely irate at everyone who procrastinates and gets good grades anyway. VAGUELY. She will look at him Disapprovingly around the campsite.

Violet is definitely going to ask where he gets his protein at some point. I desperately want her to actually for some reason. Can we get them into a random conversation about veganism? kthx.