goose_ooc | (no subject)

HELLOO this is CAMERON i also have a character to intro bc yall dont see enough of me around here i guess lmfao sorry

this is cassius holcomb, coppertale sophomore. also known as cash, because cassius is a silly name. his concept is "overcompensating suburban kid shoots for the moon, lands amongst the dumpsters" and, well, that's it in a nutshell. he's here to join the OVERACHIEVERS CLUB, although, amusingly enough, not the goody-two-shoes club. cash won't push you under a bus, but he won't stop you from making a bad choice, either. he's perfectly willing to watch you eat shit so long as his face stays clean, especially if it helps him to get ahead. he's not a bad kid, though! he wants to be a nice boy, he's just acutely aware that it's a dog-eat-dog world.

cash comes from an almost parodically-suburban* nuclear family that was obsessed with keeping up with the joneses. cash inherited those sensibilities, but ruined it for his family when he came out as transgender at 13. his folks passive-aggressively ignore him entirely, and he's been essentially on his own ever since then. as a result, he's very into the concept of self-sufficiency; he never wants to have to scramble to figure things out again and he knows he can't rely on anyone else to do things for him.

he's always trying to make the grade, win the award, be the best... but sometimes his tendency to trip and fall into hijinx gets the way of his dreams. he might be trying to peddle you a pyramid scheme. c'mon, how can you say no to this face?

eta: ok, i mentioned that he was transgender but then i forgot to elaborate on how that might impact your characters. in summary.... they probably don't know, unless they guessed when he first came to school as a freshman (which is when he started taking testosterone. before that, well. 14 y/os are runty anyway.) or b/c cash resolutely will not go swimming.

he uses his Hard Earned Gainz to buy testosterone from unscrupulous dudes who sell to teenagers in gyms, which is not something anyone should do. to date, he has neither been caught buying nor taking his T (he stashes the used needles in a tin under his bed). theoretically, this could cause trouble down the line, since ... that looks sketchy af, lol. no, he won't ask for help from the school and also authority figures can suck his dick.

*sorry in advance if anyone is from hendrickson, nv, because i shit on it all the time in his app. i'm sure it's lovely! i hear it's very safe.

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name: chris
age: old

And Cassius just a ward an hour later that says nothing but 'fuck you'

30 mins later another application under the door, this time left helpfully blank

And chris fills it out out of spite Bc fuck you he's not 'old'

and chris gets a nice paid internship right out of high school

~the house that passive-aggressiveness and spite built~

And this is the real plot twist of how Chris doesn't turn to crime after graduation

The second plot twist is that Robin fails all his finals bc of his test anxiety and turns to a life of crime instead.

(this is literally what i'm expecting during comps next year. I GET YOU, ROBIN.)

(one time, i was doing an exam on a patient as part of my finals and i was so nervous i didn't notice that they were missing a lung. an entire lung. brb, switching tracks from medicine to graverobbing or smthng.)

(daaaaaaam son)

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES OK that happened to be a ... slightly bigger mistake than usual :')

anyway the point of this story is: test anxiety, it's a bitch. i'm sure you'll kill your comp(osition? thing?) tho

LMAO I FORGOT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT TEST ANXIETY

it's now a legit okay mistake if you were in a test. tests are the fucking worst.

ONE DAY I WILL comprehensive exams

good backtrack, my ego has been restored thnx (biceps emoji)

ohhhhh boyo. that looks. unfun. also, oh hey, my undergrad is on the list of schools that make you do that to graduate. OH DOUBLE-HEY, i just realised comps = orals. wow, sucks to be you, homie. i am so sorry.

oh my gosh if they'd made me do that for undergraduate i would literally never have graduated holy fuck i was even so much worse back then

cruel. and unusual. punishment.

*pats you with a broom* there there ...... you'll probably literally survive ........... i hope........

Chris is just gonna start giving Robin impromptu surprise tests tbh