Hazel's the HOTTEST, obv. Actually, wait, Jade REALLY IS incredibly hot, it's just a different kind of hot. Like, if we had two kinds of hot that involved "girls willing to hurt you" then both Hazel and Jade rank, but they're TWO SEPARATE BRANDS of pain you're subjecting yourself to in the name of hotness.

[...] Hang on I need to think about this more.